


Ugly

by nolangerardfuck



Category: Johnny's Entertainment, KAT-TUN (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-15
Updated: 2014-01-15
Packaged: 2018-01-08 19:53:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1136708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nolangerardfuck/pseuds/nolangerardfuck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ueda is an insecure teenager who breaks down in Jin's arms, or alternately, the first time Jin catches Ueda crying.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ugly

**Author's Note:**

> title taken from the song Ugly by 2ne1. an unedited little drabble.
> 
> {I think I’m ugly  
> And nobody wants to love me}  
> {Just like her I wanna be pretty, I wanna be pretty}  
> {Don’t like to my face, tellin’ me I’m pretty  
> I think I’m ugly}

The first time he catches you crying is in a cramped McDonald’s bathroom in New York City, one that reeks of sweat and hamburger meat.

Roaming the city with photographers at your heels can get exhausting, and everyone needs a break (or a cheeseburger) to get them fuelled. What _you_ need is to get away. You excuse yourself from the others hastily, hoping they won’t notice the tremble of your hands and the way you can’t stop chewing at your lips and counting to ten under your breath. You don’t notice the way his eyes follow you as you search for the bathroom, a frown etched on his face. It’s an important trip for the group; you don’t want to ruin the novelty of _first photo-book in NYC._

 _They deserve to have fun_ , you think, _these years won’t come back_.

You probably already are ruining it for them, you figure. You know your face isn’t appealing enough, your movements rigid and awkward, your character too quiet and forgettable. You don’t measure up to the others; you aren’t like Him. Akanishi Jin has a magnetic aura, you think fondly. He walks into a room and people can’t help but turn their head, stare at the stunning beauty that completely lacks a brain-to-mouth filter.

They love him right from the first word that exits those sinful lips. Jin is just like that. Jin is an enigma, and you know that it’ll never change.  
You clutch the chipped sink and take a deep breath in. You can’t help but love him as well. You’re afraid that it’ll show in the photos, the way you get lost in his smile sometimes. It probably won’t; no one pays attention to you when he’s standing next to you. _What is that guy doing next to Jin-kun? Oh, he’s that other member. Why is he standing between Jin and Kame-chan?_ Akanishi Jin and the Other Lanky Guy with the Guitar. Ruining it for them, you just know you are. You’re not good enough, don’t know how to shed the awkward skin and be a member they’re proud of.  You figure that Koichi had ran out of proper U’s for KAT-TUN, and had to settle for second best. You didn’t think you were good enough to stand out from the crowd, never will be.

You’re crying now, tears dripping down that _horribly boring_ face, you think. Lips too thick, so ugly when you cry, you just know it, you don’t want to look in the mirror—

“I knew it,” and that’s Jin’s voice ringing out, you recognise it anywhere, “what happened? Did someone say something? I’ll beat them all up; you know I’ve been working out.”

You look up and turn around, groping around in your head to look for an excuse, but as soon as you see Jin’s face, you know there’s no point. There’s a determined look on his face, and that means he’s not going to be satisfied with some half-assed explanation. Akanishi Jin can be a fierce bitch when it comes to his friends.

“It’s just,” and you pause, your eyes hurt and you can’t find the right words, “I just need a moment.”

You close your eyes and lean back against the sink, about to plaster a smile on and walk you both back out, when you’re pinned. Jin has his arms hooked around your neck securely, face buried in your neck, letting you feel the soft huffs of breath against your neck. Somehow with Jin, it feels erotic.

You lift your arms and let them rest on his waist, and neither of you say anything. You don’t say anything but it’s enough; just him being _there_ is enough to make you feel giddy. Jin is just like that.

“You can cry on me, Tat-chan. I’ll be your sponge, soaking up all the tears.” You suppose that’s supposed to be supportive. It earns him a smile.

“Who did you learn that from? Nishikido?”

“No, Ryo has lame pick-up lines, mine are totally cool.” He insists, and your faces are close enough to make you nervous.

“That was supposed to be a pickup line?”

“Yeah, only the best for pretty boys like you.”

Before you can freak out over what you just heard, Jin is leaning in and pressing his lips against yours. It’s awkward and you don’t know how to respond, any experience you had in this department going out the window. Jin’s lips taste like chilli and cigarette smoke, but they’re still kind of sweet in a way that really isn’t fair. Jin whispers praises of _you’re so perfect_ in between kisses to your neck and fingers slipping into the back pocket of your jeans to grab at your arse, and you let yourself get swept up in the moment. You don’t think you believe those whispered words yet, you tell yourself, but later as you walk out of the bathroom and catch Jin smiling shyly as he fixes his collar, well.

The day he steals your heart for good is in a cramped McDonald’s bathroom in New York City, one that reeks of sweat and hamburger meat.

**Author's Note:**

> originally posted http://oceanses.livejournal.com/3430.html


End file.
